10/29/19
“Do as I say, not as I do.” We joke about this phrase when it comes to our kids. We use it as an excuse to pardon our own behavior while simultaneously setting different expectations for our kids. When we use such a phrase, we are sending mixed messages. In Social Media Wellness, Homayoun discusses the dangers of these mixed messages. As I read this section, I realized how often I send such messages to my own kids and how I need to work on this.
For example, when my daughter is old enough to drive, I will expect her to refrain from using her cell phone while she is driving. Do I set a good example of this? Sometimes, but I also know there are times I do send a quick text to my wife letting her know where I am or when I will be arriving. It seems rather innocent at the time, and I often don’t even think twice about it. Even though I know distracted driving is a leading cause of car accidents, I assume it won’t happen to me. When my daughter sees me send that quick text, she transfers that behavior and assumes it’s acceptable for her to do it as well.
This “do as I say, not as I do” mindset is also a problem when it comes to social media use. We must set the example and model healthy social media use. If we expect our kids to put the phone away during a family meal, we need to do the same. If we expect our kids not to take devices into their room after a certain time, then we should make sure we are not taking our devices into our rooms at night. Our kids are constantly watching us and notice what we are doing as much (if not more than) what we say.
You have to decide what healthy social media use means for you and your family. This is a decision only you (and your spouse) can make. Don’t allow peer pressure to influence your decisions.
We struggle with this in our family. I have already heard from my daughter that she is the only one who doesn’t have a phone and that she needs one. This is a decision my wife and I are discussing. The decision is ours to make; we should not do something just because “everyone” else is. If we want our children to make decisions based on their own convictions and evaluations opposed to the opinions of others, we must do the same. If we submit to the “everyone else” is logic, then any time a group decides to do something, it becomes appropriate and safe, which we know is not true.
This week, think about the mixed messages you may be sending your student and talk with them about it. Ask them help hold you accountable. You know they will be more than willing to keep an eye on you and look for a chance to catch you sending a mixed message.
Thunder Connection 10/22/19 - Social Media and Altered Expectations
Thunder Connection 10/16/19 - Hacks for Homework
Thunder Connection 10/8/19 - The Sincere Slacker
Thunder Connection 10/1/19 - Managing and Prioritizing Tasks
Thunder Connection 9/24/19 - Choosing a Time and a Place
Thunder Connection 9/17/19 - Why Write it Down?
Thunder Connection 9/10/19 - Social Media and Five Things Most Teens Want
