From the Desk of Mr. Mike Shukis
Let’s Take a Full Picture of Student Behavior
Recently, clinical psychologist Becky Kennedy introduced the “two things are true” concept on parenting. Essentially, she argues, parents “don’t have to choose between two opposite realities.” For example, parents don’t have to feel stuck between being fun and enforcing rules. Kennedy continues, “we can avoid punishment and see improved behavior, we can parent with a firm set of expectations and still be playful, we can create and enforce boundaries and still show our love, we can take care of ourselves and our children.” Reading this makes me feel thankful. I have often stated to parents that I am a very greedy Superintendent. I want students to always show discipline in all they do and to always do it with a smile. I want it all. It should also be noted that student’s post-pandemic behavior – which has many educators confounded and exasperated- has to be met with nuance.
Traditional school discipline is often predicated on rewards and consequences: do a or b happens. Do c to earn d. Yet this rigid approach will not help students learn how to do better next time. Neither will “fixing” disruptive behavior by doubling down on punitive measures. When this happens teachers usually get caught up in power struggles and kids will become disengaged. And worse, relationships will suffer.
I believe it is time to emphasize relationship building and accountability (two things that are true); for getting to the root cause of behavior and academic struggles; for teaching perspective-taking skills and helping students understand the impact of their actions; and for neutralizing behavior in-the-moment while keeping yourself calm and regulated. At times, there may be more than one right way to respond to concerning behavior. I am extremely proud of our two Deans, Mr. Williams & Mr. Winkelman, here at Marian Central who model these strategies daily. These two gentlemen take the time needed and show great care for every student at Marian Central while dealing with discipline issues at our school. At times, they may have to make some very difficult decisions, but they do everything they can to see the full picture of student behavior.
Mike Shukis
Superintendent
