How many years have you been in a power exchange relationship?
We’ve been in a p/e relationship of some form for 7 years total (started as D/s), and in an M/s dynamic specifically for about 5 years.
How long have you been a MAsT member? What are your role(s) in MAsT?
We’ve been members of MAsT Metro Denver for about 2 years. We joined MAsT during our Colorado M/s title year(s) and have enjoyed just being members. If we were to take on a larger role, it would be after our active title years so we would have the time and energy to devote to it.
What benefits have you found being a member of MAsT?
Beast - It’s been a wonderful source of support and friendship. They have also been incredibly gracious in providing us space to polish up new material as well as simply let our hair down and not have to feel like we’re “on stage”.
Echo - O/our MAsT group is always one that I feel W/we are always welcome. W/we are not always able to attend all of the meetings, but W/we are always welcomed back and given a refuge in their friendship.
What are some of the highlights in your power exchange journey?
Echo - more than anything O/our title years have been by far the highlight. It pushed U/us to be more, work harder, and figure out who W/we really are in O/our PE. Fun fact; W/we have now been in O/our dynamic as title holders longer than we have not!
Beast: I agree that our time as title holders has been a wonderful highlight. It gave us a reason and purpose to get out of our comfort zones, both figuratively and literally. It challenged us to learn and grow in ways we may not have otherwise, and it got us to reach out and connect with a lot of amazing folks we never would have met.
What’s a low moment in your power exchange journey and how did you recover or what did you learn from it?
Beast: About 9 months into the pandemic, we faced a frightening crisis. Echo was struggling deeply with her mental health, and I had been too preoccupied to realize how bad it was getting until it had reached a critical point. We had to make some immediate and significant changes, and in the heat of it all, we had to decide HOW we were going to do that. It was tempting to try to “simplify” everything and put our M/s dynamic on hold. On one hand, it seemed to make sense. How could I continue to expect her to serve me and honor the rules, protocols, and rituals we had agreed to while trying to heal? We had done it before, when we moved from D/s to M/s. As we talked about it, we made the decision that, rather than setting it aside, we would lean harder into it. We would use the structure of our dynamic to promote the healing and growth we needed. It turned out to be an incredible decision, and we came away from the situation closer and more connected and our relationship is stronger than ever.
Echo - I think W/we have had many pivotal low points that W/we have tried to learn from, as most of you reading this have probably experienced. The one I would say was most impactful on O/our dynamic itself is when I was uncollared.
When W/we first got together, W/we created a D/s dynamic, and oh did we crash and burn. I ended up being uncollared (still in a relationship) for nearly a year and the experience had left me feeling confused. I was resentful and didn’t want to try again, but I also desperately desired it.
Finally, Sir approached me with the idea of starting an M/s dynamic. I immediately panicked, thinking, how could W/we possibly make M/s work if we couldn’t manage D/s (my naive brain still believing that it was a hierarchy). Well, as is annoyingly often the case, Sir was right!
I would say learning to recognize when W/we are putting the horse before the cart, patience and trusting the process is what I would like to say I learned most from that, but I definitely still have some work to do with patience!
What’s an interesting fact about you that most people don’t know?
Beast: We are a pretty open book so those who have been in any of our classes or heard us speak, probably know most of what I might include here. One thing very few people know is that I grew up in Hawaii, and spent time working as an exotic dancer in Waikiki.
Echo: I mean…..How can I even come close to that! I got nothin….I sneeze when I’m hungry?! pfft.
Do you have any advice for people new to power exchange relationships or new chapter directors?
Beast: My advice is directed primarily at those on the left side of the slash. Seek out and invest in those you can be transparent and vulnerable with. Too often, I feel like D-types are afraid to admit their uncertainty and failures to others, for fear of appearing less dominant or confident. I’ve seen a lot of slaves and submissives doing this really well but it seems like it’s far more rare to find supportive groups for Masters, Dominants and the like. MAsT has been one of those great resources where we can build the necessary trust to make that happen, but it still requires that we set our ego aside and open up.
Echo: Do not fall into the trap of thinking your P/e needs to look like anything other than what makes you both happy. I have heard so many people talk about how much time they wasted trying to be something they thought they were supposed to be….honestly I can include myself in one of the story tellers.
Be you, experiment, evolve and most importantly, be brave. These kinds of relationships take a different sort of courage and are forever evolving, requiring constant growth. So make sure that what you are doing feeds you. And keep on top of the weeds.
What’s your favorite quote and why?
Beast: Given the context, I feel like I’m supposed to give a quote about life, love, and Leather. Perhaps quote da Vinci, “One can have no smaller or greater mastery than mastery of oneself” but my favorite quote has little to do with any of that - at least directly. It comes from a much longer piece by Henry Rollins about his relationship with lifting weights and how his time with the iron is his therapy and keeps his mind strong along with his body.
“The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all kinds of talk, get told that you’re a god or a total bastard. The Iron will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go but two hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.”
Echo - If anyone has heard U/us teach I can almost guarantee I have said this! “Just because that is how you learned to survive, does not mean that is how you have to live”
This is my favorite quote because I try to say it to myself anytime I notice my trauma responses coming out and it is a meaningful reminder to us all.
Anything you’d like to add about winning the M/s international title?
Beast: We hear so many current and prior title holders talk about how hard it was, how exhausting and draining it was both physically and financially, and about how it added stress and strain to their relationships. All of those things can certainly be true, but I worry that it scares off a lot of really great folks that might be incredible title holders and ambassadors for our community. For us, it has been one of the best things we’ve done. It allowed us to grow both as individuals and within our dynamic. Our title journey has brought us closer together and helped make us stronger than we’ve ever been. I’d love to hear more folks in the title circuit talking about their positive experiences.
Echo- IT WAS AMAZING!!!! One of the best experiences of my life and I will never be able to put into words the impact these last few years have had and how grateful I am to have been chosen to wear that patch. I can’t promise that I will never make mistakes, or always agree. But I do promise to not just wear this Title, I will cherish it.
Anything else you’d like to add?
Beast: As we mentioned previously, our journey as title holders has been incredible. As the 2022 International couple, our time as current title holders will soon come to an end. We have a lot planned for the year and are looking forward to getting out to more places, groups and events both in-person and virtually. If you happen to see us, please come say hi. If you are looking for someone to present, please reach out. The connections we’ve made, and continue to make, have been one of the best parts of this experience. Let’s talk over coffee, at the bar, or over cigars.
Echo: Yes to all of what Sir says. Please, please, please come and say hi! I am embarrassingly stereotypically English (with any sports ball being an exception), so if your at a loss of what to come talk about, bake off, Bridgerton and how much American money doesn't make sense are winners!
