A few years ago at one of my son's basketball games, the ref was missing calls, chastising my son's coach (unfairly), and even penalized the coach during the game. Having been the second game where this ref and my son's coach met, the coach lost it. He began cussing at the ref. As a result, the coach was ejected from the church's gym. It was a slow going dismissal. The coach felt the freedom to cuss out everyone that approached him as he made his way out. The children were in shock. The parents were in disbelief. Eventually, the pastor of the church tried to reach the young coach. At that moment, the tongue really got to going. The coach cussed out the pastor and called him every pedophile, every SOB, every ungodly name under the sun.
As with all of the other witnesses, I was totally shocked. This young, hurt, angry man had given himself over and allowed his tongue to reign in that situation. The pastor stood in silence. He absorbed all the anger, all the insults, and all the frustration this young, hurt, angry man had to give. The pastor stood and listened as he was being cussed out and called names in front of everyone - men, women, and children.
Totally shocked.
Not at the coach's behavior; especially cussing out the pastor. Not shocked by that at all.
Totally shocked...
At the conduct of all the men that tried to assist the coach including the pastor.
The men from the church (I'm assuming they were from the church) took turns approaching the coach in love. First, each man listened. When it seemed as if, he was feeling anger, another man would step in. Lastly, the pastor stepped in. The pastor made sure the coach left the facility, not having uttered one word in anger...not one one word in retaliation...not one word in defense of himself. Not one word was spoken. After the coach left, an apology was made for the display and the children finished their game.
Later, a well-worded email was sent to comfort the parents and offered talking points about how we may consider speaking with our children about the incident.
Not one word.
Not one word of judgement.
Not one word of anger.
Not one word of condemnation.
The pastor and those in ministry with him were quick to listen and slow to speak. They demonstrated what it is to tame the tongue in that moment. Yeah, it might be easier to do it toward a person you don't know. Yeah, it might even be easier to keep quiet when a crowd of people are bearing witness.
So what is the real test? Being quick and slow at home with the people you love? Being quick and slow with the other folks you're in relationship with? Being quick and slow on the job? Taming the tongue requires the Fruit of the Spirit. Taming the tongue takes Salt and Light. Taming the tongue takes grace. Taming the tongue is a great challenge that we face daily.
I pray that each time we are challenged, we pass the test. I also pray that if we don't pass the test, we would immediately ask for forgiveness and prepare for the next test.
Scripture Readings for your personal time of devotion:
James 1:2-27 (Trials)
James 3:1-12 (Taming the tongue)
Galations 5:22-25 (Fruit of the Spirit)
Matthew 5:13-16 (Salt and Light)
Colossians 3:23 (Motivation)
Colossians 4:6 (Season Your Words)
Do your best & make good choices,
PMEN
