A Message from Mrs. Caudill
Dear Bobcat Families,
October is Bullying Prevention Month. This month schools around the world will be kicking off a campaign to raise awareness about bullying prevention in our schools. Our theme for the year is "Amerman is Out of this World." We are focusing on kindness, friendship and understanding. These three tenets are some of the pillars of bullying prevention.
Northville Public Schools has a policy about bullying. We do not tolerate bullying. You can find our policy here: NPS Anti-bullying Policy Additionally, NPS addresses bullying, and the penalties for bullying in the student code of conduct, accessible here: Student Code of Conduct - See item #28
Bullying is defined as any behavior that any reasonable person would know is likely to cause harm to another. Bullying tends to be repetitive, it is often targeted behavior (meaning the bully is looking for, or coming after a particular person or group of people), and bullying features an imbalance of power. One person is powerful, the other is powerless.
So what are the differences in bullying behavior vs. rude behavior, or mean behavior? There are differences, though none of these behaviors are acceptable.
An article in Psychology Today by Signe Whitson, L.S.W., details the differences in these three socially unacceptable behaviors.
Rude behavior = Inadvertently saying or doing something that hurts someone else.
The operative word in the above definition is "inadvertent." These are socially insensitive behaviors that come from a failure to care about or read social cues. Most of us have been rude or insensitive at times. There's no doubt these behaviors can be hurtful, and certainly interfere with the development of normal, positive relationships. People who are rude may have a pattern of insensitive behavior. They're likely not targeting anyone in particular. Rude behavior is an equal opportunity offender.
Signe Whitson describes mean behavior as different than rudeness as it is intentional where as rude behavior is unintentional. Mean behavior carries intention:
Mean behavior = Purposefully saying or doing something to hurt someone once (or maybe twice).
Mean behavior is impulsive, but intentional behavior. It's the kind of thing that may happen more than once and it tends to be a result of anger or disagreement. Whitson writes, "Very often, mean behavior in kids is motivated by angry feelings and/or the mis-guided goal of propping themselves up in comparison to the person they are putting down." On the playground this can look like posturing when playing a team sport, or criticizing someone else's choices, or their way of doing something, or even excluding someone from an activity. "Your team cheats," is an example of a mean comment designed to hurt. Siblings and family members can be deliberately mean. Children may be mean to friends during a disagreement. Meanness becomes bullying when it's repetitive and controlling.
Ms. Whitson defines bullying as:
Bullying = Intentionally aggressive behavior, repeated over time, that involves an imbalance of power
The literature on bullying features these three elements: an imbalance of power, repetition of mean, rude, hurtful behavior, and the targeted intention to cause harm.
When I investigate a charge of bullying I'm looking for answers to the following questions: Has this happened more than once? Does the "bully" respond when the "victim" says "no" or "stop?" Is the behavior intentional? Is the behavior targeted? Does the "bully" behave this way only to one person, or one specific group; or does the "bully" behave aggressively toward everyone? Was there anger involved? How is the recipient of this behavior chosen? Who else does this behavior happen to? Is it planned behavior or is it impulsive behavior? What is the motive of the behavior? Was the behavior witnessed by anyone else or experienced by anyone else? Is there an implied or actual threat? Would any reasonable person recognize the threat or harm?
Allow me to be clear - in a civil society there is no room for any of these three behaviors, and we handle all these behaviors when they crop up at school.
Children must learn to interact in a kind and respectful manner, even when we disagree - perhaps especially when we disagree and when we're angry!
To recap:
• Rude behavior is self-centered behavior. Think the old "bull in a china closet" analogy. This is socially inept behavior that wounds indiscriminately. The rude person may not know or care that they're being rude. They're very focused on themselves.
• Mean behavior is behavior that happens in times of anger and it may happen once or twice. It's often personal. Siblings and friends can be mean. They know what buttons to push and what comments to make that will wound or get a reaction based on their relationship. No one likes a meanie. Sometimes kids are mean to one another and the next thing you know they're inviting each over for play dates. Kids who are regularly mean will eventually find themselves socially ostracized.
• Bullying behavior is usually intentional, repetitive, targeted behavior that features an imbalance of power. Bullies will intentionally pick their time and place for maximum effect. The victim feels powerless to stop the behavior. Bullies may be very popular people by virtue of their social power.
Habit 8 - Finding Your Voice - is the habit that helps kids with bullying.
The first seven of Steven Covey’s habits are about becoming an effective person. We really work on that at Amerman. But there IS an 8th Habit as well. That 8th Habit is what takes a person from being effective to great. The 8th habit is “Finding your voice and inspiring others to find theirs.” In my experience, many of the conflicts that arise among people, and among children, begin with a breakdown of communication. Somewhere along the line we quit communicating clearly, carefully, and respectfully, and problems occur. So finding and using your voice, and inspiring others to find theirs is about communication, and feeling empowered to speak for yourself.
Can you see how finding the ability to speak up contributes to powerful leadership skills? Can you see how silence allows wrongs to fester and grow? Teaching children to find and maintain the ability to speak for themselves is critical in raising happy, healthy children.
To bully-proof your kids, they need to learn self-advocacy skills. Most bullies will target victims who are seen as powerless, unwilling or unable to speak up, or stand up for themselves. Children who speak up tend not to become victims of bullies. We're working at Amerman to help every child find their voice.
Here's to a friendly, Kind and Understanding October!
Devon Caudill
Mark Your Calendars
October 3 - 28 - Socktober (See Flyer Below)
October 11 - PTA Restaurant Night - Chick Fil A
October 12 - National Walk, Bike, and Roll to School Day
October 12 - Bobcat Pride Day
October 13 - Student Run Credit Union - First Deposit Day of the Year!
October 18 - PTA Bonaventure Night - See Flyer below
October 28 - PTA Trunk or Treat - See Flyer below
November 3 - PTA Meeting 6:30 PM
November 10 - Culture Night
Bobcat Pride Press is Back!
The newsletter made for Amerman kids, by Amerman kids is back for the 4th year in a row. Check out the fifth issue of the 2022-2023 school-year below!
Parking Lot Gates
For the safety of our walkers and bus riders our north and south parking lot gates are closed daily from 8:32am - 8:42 AM and from 3:45 - 3:55 PM. We have 5th grade safeties that are responsible for the closing and opening of these gates.
Please do not ask them to move the gates early. Please do not honk at them. Please do not go around the gates. Lastly, please do not yell at them. Remember these are children just trying to do their assigned safety post.
Lastly, there are also times when are buses may be delayed. If this happens the gates may remain closed until all students are cleared from walking in front of the gates. This is for the safety of our students. We appreciate your understanding!
Submitting Photos for the Amerman Yearbook
It’s the start of the school year and time to start sending in pictures for the yearbook! Do you have a first day of school picture or a picture of you student in the community? Please email your yearbook pics to amermanyearbookpics@gmail.com
Please include which teacher your students have so we can organize them easier!
Infectious Disease Response to COVID 2022-23
Students and staff that contract COVID should follow the Health Department recommendations and isolate for five days from the date where symptoms were present or from the date of their positive rapid or PCR test. Isolation includes waiting to return to school until the isolation period has ended. It is also recommended that students or staff should wear a mask for 5 days past their isolation period. See MDHHS Graphic below.
Parents should notify their child’s school of the absence reason so that teachers are aware of the student's absence period and our nurses can follow the health department’s infectious disease requirements. NPS School Nurses are available should you have any questions.
hot lunch program for interested students
Families must preorder lunches for preschools and elementary students. Orders must be in by 8:30 AM for elementary students to receive a lunch that day. The system will not allow you to order after the time listed above. For your convenience, meals can be preordered up to 30 days in advance. To avoid any issues, we recommend ordering the night before.
Leader in Me October Focus: Habit 1 - Be Proactive
Habit 1 – Be Proactive – “I’m in Charge of Me”
What this means: Take charge of your own life. Make it happen. Don't wait for someone else to do it.
“I am responsible for me.”
“I do the right thing before I am asked.”
“I do the right thing even when no one is looking.”
“I do not blame others for my actions.”
How can I do this in my life?
1. If you do something wrong, say you are sorry before someone asks you to apologize.
2. When you get mad and want to say something, stop, think, and ask yourself-
Why am I getting so angry? Make a good choice in a good way.
Great Books for Habit #1- Be Proactive
- The Dot by Peter H. Reynolds
- Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst
- Because of Winn Dixie by Kate DiCamillo
- The Little Engine that Could by Watty Piper
- Amazing Grace by Mary Hoffman
- Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun by Maria Dismondy
Birthday Cafe'
Artistic positivity
Amerman Elementary
Email: caudillde@northvilleschools.org
Website: amerman.northvilleschools.org
Phone: 248-465-2100
Twitter: @amermannv
