Weekly Communications

Hello PCMS Students and Families! Welcome to another weekly newsletter. In addition to Superintendent Ron Thiele’s message to the community on Monday, regarding the heartbreaking events unfolding in our country, we recognize and acknowledge the many feelings, opinions, and experiences our students and families may be encountering. We sit in these spaces with you, as humans and educators.

At PCMS Counseling we are here to support you whether you are experiencing an emotional charge (e.g. wanting to help, be active in the current events) or you are experiencing an emotional overload (e.g. confused, scared, drained). At PCMS Counseling we believe we are a family, and we stand in solidarity for justice, equality and dignity for all. Reach out to one of the members of the team and let us be there for you.

In case you need to review the suggestions of the power of positive thinking or practicing gratitude, have a look in last week’s newsletter, you can find it here!

“The curious paradox is when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change”.

Carl Rogers, psychotherapist.

When situations are difficult we can feel awkward, overwhelmed and emotionally hurt. Normally our reaction is to run away from the situation, pretend it’s not happening or have a meltdown. This normally happens because we have interpreted the situation into something fearful, maybe we feel trapped or we are experiencing a feeling of no or little control.

The remote learning, having to work from home, the loss of meeting friends and family and so on, is hard! What if we stopped for a moment and just recognized how difficult and stressful this situation is? We move away from interpretations and instead we move closer to just accepting the here and now!

Acceptance is

• Being aware of how you feel e.g. Saying “I’m sad I cannot see my friends.”

• No judgement for yourself or another e.g. Not choosing, “You never finish your school work”, maybe say “It can be difficult to work this way, let me know how I can help.”

• Seeing the moment for what it is instead of resisting it e.g. Saying “I didn’t choose this situation, but I can decide, I’m just going to focus on what I need right now.”

• Acknowledging what you have achieved e.g. To share, “We had problems setting up this technology, but we are better at this than before.”

• Choosing to forgive yourself or another e.g. Not choosing, “I’m useless at this online stuff”, maybe say “You are showing so much grit for not giving up.”

• And Making the choice to control your response e.g. Instead of getting frustrated, decide to have a rest and come back later to problem solve.

By choosing acceptance we understand we cannot control everything that happens to us but we do get to choose how we will react to it. When you acknowledge that you have control of your thoughts, you can also celebrate what you have accomplished. Taking a moment to pause, and reflect on what you have achieved is huge:

• You are keeping the family safe as best as you can.
• You are choosing not to focus on the mundane tasks but to take care of your needs.
• You are connecting more deeply with your children and family members because you all know it’s not easy.
• You are having more quality time with family learning new things about each other.

Here are some coping statements that can help you practice acceptance.

· This is difficult, but it’s temporary.

· I can feel anxious and still deal with this situation effectively.

· Resisting reality only blocks me from seeing my options.

· I can accept this situation and still be happy.

· I can only control my present responses.

· There was a cause (or causes) for this. I do not have to know what the causes are, but I can accept that they exist.

· When I stay in the present moment, I can problem-solve.

· Rather than blaming and judging myself, I need to take appropriate action.

· Stay focused on the moment. What do I need to do right now?

· It is what it is.

· I can’t change what’s happened.

· I can accept things the way they are.

· I can get through this.

· This feels painful, but I will survive this and the feeling will pass.

· Fighting with the past is futile.

· This is difficult, but it’s temporary.

· I can feel anxious and still deal with this situation effectively.

· Resisting reality only blocks me from seeing my options.

· I can accept this situation and still be happy.

· I can feel bad and still choose to take a new and healthy direction.

· I can only control my present responses.

To read more about how to practice acceptance, click here for the full article 16 Ways to Practice Radical Acceptance by R.F.Woods MA.

Since the start of the year many events have happened that have been out of our hands, yet we have tackled them all in some capacity. For most of us and our children we have never encountered something like this. We could not have predicted our fears nor our loss of normalcy, and how that would show up in ourselves, families or friends.

Acceptance gives us the chance to see those emotions in ourselves and others, without judgement but instead through compassion. We can tell ourselves we are doing the best we can and we are going to be patient with ourselves and others.

Acceptance allows us to acknowledge what we cannot control and offers us the chance to see what we can control – our choice to nurture ourselves and others in that moment. We are in a frame of mind that allows us to relax, and see the situation from a new lens. When we accept that taking care of ourselves is in our control, we can be there for our children, family and friends, and pass more easily through the moment.

The Breathing Space

Watch this 3minute video on Acceptance by Jon Kabat Zinn

Forming the habit of fixing or finding solutions took time, and in the same way developing the mindset that begins to accept the moment, takes time. One of the best ways to work on staying in the moment is through the practice of mindfulness, The Breathing Space by Jon Kabat Zinn

Mandalas

Keeping in with last week’s use of art as a tool of support, get the family drawing a mandala circle. Mandalas are a powerful relaxation tool and helps you focus on the present moment. Here is a quick 5min video to get you started.

Time Capsule

The whole family are living through an experience that will be written in the history books. Think about your story, your courage, how you overcame the challenges you faced, what you could not control and what choices you made. Journal your thoughts so one day you can read your own history.

This week's dares will allow you as a family to slow down and reconnect with each other.

Home Theater

Make some popcorn and curl up as a family with a good movie. All other distractions turned off and put them away. Take it up a notch by moving things around to make it more of a theater experience. Bust out some blankets or build a mini fort or get some extra cups from a local restaurant or theater and make it feel like the real thing. Afterwards talk about the movie as a family by sharing favorite parts or lessons learned.

Download one of the free mindfulness apps and spend 5 minutes a day trying out some of the techniques. You can also search for some mindful moments online and play a video. Can you work your way up this week to 10 minutes of silence in a room together? Sometimes silence is golden.

Counseling office hours, for all grades, are Tues/Thur from 9:30-10 where we will be responding to emails. Mrs. Gee will be answering for 8th grade on Tuesday’s and Mrs. Miranda will be available on Thursday’s. Mrs. Mez and Mrs. Stephens are also available on Edmodo!

PBSES office hours are Tues/Thur from 12:30 - 1:00 where I will be responding to emails.

Now that the school closure has been extended through the end of the school year, this will be a time of prolonged adjustment as students and families transition to on-line learning. Transitions and change can be difficult for students, especially during such an unprecedented time in history. Our Swedish School Based Mental Health Counselor, Laura Greening, is available to support students through individual telehealth (online) counseling support. If you are interested in getting your student connected to services, please do not hesitate to reach out to our school based mental health counselor: laura.greening@swedish.org.

Free virtual counseling sessions available for high school students age 13-18 years old. Meet with one of the Garage Counselors while maintaining Social Distancing ! Appointments available Mondays and Tuesdays. Sign up for a private, confidential session here

If you or someone you know needs support urgently, contact the crisis text line by texting "hello," to 741-741. You will be connected to a 24/7 hour live crisis counselor or you can call the Crisis Connections 24hr Crisis Line at 866-4Crisis. You can also use this link to be connected to a crisis counselor https://www.crisistextline.org/get-help/coronavirus. If you think someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

· Crisis Text Line – text START to 741741 www.crisistextline.org

· King County Crisis Connections 206-461-3222

· Trevor Project 1-866-4UTREVOR (488-7386) (specific toward LGBTQ youth)

· National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

· Teen Link 1-866-833-6546 www.teenlink.org

· Children’s Crisis Outreach Response Services (CCORS) through the Crisis Clinic 206-461-3222

As instances of cyberbullying may increase during this time, here are some ways to help at home. Please know that you or your student may email their school counselor (contact information below) as well if they need support.

https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/prevention

Laura Meserole, 6th Grade Counselor

Jessica Morrison, 7th Grade Counselor

Miranda Williams, 8th Grade Counselor

Gurminder Randhawa, 8th Grade Counselor

Tiffany Stephens, Counseling Intern

Laura Greening, Swedish Mental Health Counselor

Amy Butson, PBSES Coach

Website: https://www.issaquah.wednet.edu/pacificcascadems
Location: Pacific Cascade Middle School, Southeast Issaquah-Fall City Road, Issaquah, WA, USA
Phone: 425-837-5900