Building Resilience

From us at TUSD, we would like to welcome you to our latest issue and first one of the year 2021. Considering everything we have been through as a society and the new transitions that await us, we are here, we are resilient, and we will keep going. It is obvious that it will be a while before things go back to normal, or at least something that will resemble normalcy. In the meantime, we must continue to do what we can to maintain hope, create goals and resolutions, address our challenges with thought, strategy, and intent; all the while we continue to take care of ourselves.

In this issue, we want to support your goals and aspirations for the new year. We know that supporting parents and staff can have a great impact on our students. Take a few minutes to learn a few tips to help you set and accomplish goals, process and reflect on the year past, and gain perspective from other people. Enjoy this installment.

Yenyfer Bullock, LMFT

Hillview, Tustin Connect, Benson

Written by

Mei Pauw, LMFT, PPS

TUSD Mental Health Specialist

Guin Foss, Tustin Ranch, Myford Elementary Schools

Happy New Year Everyone! For many 2021 could not come fast enough given that 2020 has been a tough year for many with the pandemic, forced business closures, which lead to layoffs, a horrendous economy, protests and anguish due to police brutality, and the realization of how divided we are as a nation. In addition, let us not forget about the wildfires, Murder Hornets, and other natural disasters around the nation and the world. Yes, 2020 is finally over, and it is finally 2021, which is a new year with new hopes of a better and brighter tomorrow.

For many, a new year marks a starting point to make new goals and resolutions. The purpose of these goals and resolutions are usually set to improve something about our lives, whether it is to get in shape, go back to school or quit smoking/drinking. However, research has found that on average, 80% of those New Year’s resolutions fail by the second week of February (Ma, 2020).

Good habits, especially ones drastically different from typical lifestyles, are hard to get started and even harder to keep. Contrary to what was stated in the past, research shows that on average, it takes approximately 66 days for a habit to become automatic (Phillippa Lally, 2009).

So how do we mentally prepare ourselves to be successful with those New Year’s resolutions? Below are some tips on how to make your New Year’s resolutions stick this year (Ma, 2020).

1. Choose one behavior and one behavior only that you want to change.

2. Find someone to keep you accountable, to remind you of your failures as well as your successes.

3. Stop using negative language. For example, “Stop overeating” is not as effective as “I will stick to eating just 2,000 calories a day.” Frame resolutions positively; let action-oriented thoughts lead to the desired action.

4. Take baby steps. Change is hard and will come with pushback and negative self-talk. Therefore, start slow and make tiny changes by making little changes to your daily life, which can minimize this mental resistance.

5. Remember, failure is natural and not to be discouraged but learned from. Identify patterns that cause you to fail, know the barriers that cause discomfort that way you can be proactive and plan to face that discomfort, and continue pushing forward towards your goal.

References:

Ma, M. (2020, January 5). How to make your New Year’s resolutions last. Retrieved from www.fsunews.com: https://www.fsunews.com/story/news/2020/01/05/how-make-your-new-years-resolutions-last/2818222001/

Phillippa Lally, C. H. (2009). How are habits formed: Modeling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology , 998-1009.

Written by:

Bradlianne Dinsmoor, LCSW, PPS

Foothill High School

It’s that time of year when every weight loss plan and product pours millions of dollars into selling you a bill of false goods. Their ads are filled with subtle messaging to make consumers believe that their product or program can cure all ills.

Lose weight, workout, cut out carbs and:

-never feel sad again!

-all of your insecurities will be gone.

-you’ll magically be a better parent, student, spouse, worker, human.

-life will have meaning.

-you’ll finally feel satisfied and whole.

Advertisers would have you believe that salvation can be found in their product and most of us are more than willing to buy in. Afterall, who wouldn’t want the short cut between where I am now and where I want to be. Finding the short cut is human nature and has even led to some of the greatest innovations of mankind-Hello, Car Vs. Horse, Match Vs. Flint. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to do better and be better. There is something misguided however about looking to outside solutions for internal malady.

So before starting your new weight loss program it might be worth checking in; especially if you are a lifelong dieter.

“Am I changing my eating and work out behaviors because I respect myself and want to honor my needs?”

Or, “Am I using weight loss attempts to soothe, avoid, or fix myself so that I may finally be worthy.”

Focusing solely on the number on the scale can interfere with your body’s ability to provide you other forms of feedback about what it wants and needs. The scale does not measure how much stress you’re under or when you need a vacation, it does not reflect conflict in your relationships or tell you when you need to be held, and it does not point you toward self-acceptance, kindness, and mental wellness.

What if this January, instead of making and breaking another New Year’s resolution, you go beyond the weight loss to the heart of your desires? What if instead of signing up for another cleans you begin to heal your relationship with food and address the emotional disconnect that has led to weight gain? What if you learn to feed yourself and move your body out of respect and love for yourself instead of punishment and shame?

You may be surprised to learn that 2/3rds of people who engage in intentional weight loss experience higher weight outcomes over time*. Meaning the more diets you go on, the higher your set point weight* ends up being in the long run. Our bodies are hard wired for survival that deprivation and calorie restriction send the message that survival is being threatened. This threat can then trigger a primal response to eat…and eat….and eat. Diet culture would have you believe that this primal need to correct the imbalance means you are a failure.

Feeling like a failure can lead to further restriction. And again you are launched into survival mode. This cycle has been shown to have detrimental effects not only on physical health but on mental and emotional health as well. People who engage in intentional weight loss have been shown to engage in more disordered eating patterns and have poorer outcomes in weight, emotional health, and mental wellbeing.

If you are ready to ditch dieting and find peace with your body and food, then it’s time to ditch the scale and connect back to yourself.

How to ditch the Diet Culture Mentality:

1. Say Goodbye to Diet Culture:

Rid yourself of anything promising weight loss easily, quickly, and permanently. Our bodies are not meant to stay static. They change size and shape over time and are responsive to our phase of life, environment, and stress levels.

2. Engage in a mindfulness-based practice surrounding food:

Intuitive eating is a mindfulness-based program designed to teach you how to trust your body’s wisdom to make choices around food that feel good to your body, without judgement, and without influence from diet culture.

3. Honor your Emotions and Emotional Well-Being:

We all feel anxious, lonely, bored, angry, tired, and stressed out from time to time. Honor your need for comfort and resolution of these emotions. Address them head on instead of distracting yourself from them with food. You may already have the tools to soothe and resolve these emotions, but they may be rusty and in need of updating. Or you may have no idea how to self-soothe and you could benefit from a few sessions with a professional*. Learning to identify, communicate, and honor your needs is a large component of learning to eat intuitively.

So, this January, instead of buying another weight loss program, app, or product, I invite you to buy into you. Connect back, dig deep, and say goodbye to waging war on your body every New Year.

*This Statistic comes the book Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison, MPH, RD

*Set point weight refers to your body’s natural range of weight it maintains when dieting is not present.

*Not all therapists are created equal. Find a therapist near you who has studied Intuitive Eating and is supportive of the Health At Ever Size movement. Even therapist can fall prey to the trapping of the Diet Culture mentality.

Here are some resources to learn more about Intuitive Eating and the harmful effects of Diet Culture.

Books:

Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole MS, RDN, CEDRD-S &

Elyse Resch MS, RDN, CEDRD-S, FAND

Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison, MPH, RD

Online Resources:

Intuitive Eating Online Community (discussion board)

Certified Intuitive Eating Counselors

5 Minute Mindful Eating Exercise

Articles, Audio, and Print information for Intuitive Eating

Scholarly Articles:

PubMed & Intuitive Eating

Written by:

Ashley Hudson, LMFT

Mental Health Specialist

Pioneer Middle and Peter’s Canyon

Reflection is a necessary process in life for self-improvement and when choosing to move forward. We need to take a step back, be honest with ourselves, look at what happened, resolve, redirect, and evolve. It is important that before we set goals and refresh for a new year, we take the time to reflect on the previous year’s highlights and lowlights. Most of the character qualities we gain are from not only our achievements but from our failures and hardships that occurred.

Reflection helps us understand more about ourselves; our vulnerabilities, pain, losses, successes, achievements, and strengths. It offers us the space to let go and not stay stuck in the disappointments or “should'ves.” So, let’s take a look at the previous year: the good, the bad, and even the in-betweens. Take a quiet moment to write down and think about this past year. The year of 2020 has been difficult for a lot of people. There has been a collective amount of grief, loss, change, adjustments, trauma, failures, and challenges.

What were some of your toughest struggles? What did those struggles and failures teach you?

Now, take a moment and think about some of the simple and grand accomplishments that happened during this previous year. What were some moments and successes that you were thankful for?

We can build confidence and better ourselves through our successes, but most of the time learning from our failures and pushing through adversity will actually propel us even further.

So remember, take time and space to look at all of the ups and downs of this last year, let go of what is holding you back, and move forward with appreciation. Appreciation for a new direction, the grit and determination through the suffering and pain, and gratitude for the moments and opportunities that you didn't know existed.

Written by:

Tracey Carson, LMFT

Orchard Hills, Hicks Canyon

If you have not seen the Netflix documentary titled, My Octopus Teacher, you're in for a surprise. The film is a gentle and yet intriguing story of a South African filmmaker who is feeling out of touch with his marriage, work, kids and his overall direction in life. He begins to take daily dives in an unwelcoming, chilly ocean off the South African Coast. He explores the haunting, yet beautiful kelp forest and discovers a strange pile of ocean fragments. His curiosity leads him down a yearlong exploration of the amazing life of an octopus.

The film reveals the breathtaking beauty of this alien looking creature which he calls “Her”. The lessons derived from this documentary seem to ignite deep emotion and awake the senses. This documentary reminded me that there are universal messages to process and experience. We long for the joy of finding never imagined bonds, and the hope of finding life force in an antagonistic world. We want to appreciate that rhythms of life can sustain us, when happiness can’t, and see that vulnerability both reveals and connects us. Understanding intelligence comes in all forms. We need to recognize that wonder is a gift we all need to practice and know love can be experienced in many forms

My Octopus Teacher has helped me discover so much I thought had been washed away with the hardships of 2020. Now I can see “2020” as my teacher and the year I became more.

The Mental Health Services (MHS) team is made up of clinically trained therapists. Our MHS team has grown significantly over the past five years to meet the mental health needs of all TUSD students. We provide individual and group counseling to general education students. Additionally, we facilitate workshops, offer consultation, and collaborate with local community agencies. Students are referred for therapeutic services by their principal and school counselor.

As a team, we aim to be recognized as an entity of support to general education students affected by social-emotional hindrances, which prevent them from achieving their educational goals. Moreover, the Mental Health Services Team seeks to project a broad psychoeducational impact by normalizing mental health services throughout the district.

If you you feel your child could benefit from MHS services at school, reach out to your school counselor or administrator. If you have any questions about Building Resilience or would like to suggest topics for future installments, you may contact us below.