How many years have you been interested/involved in power-exchange relationships?
I first met my Master in 1995. He introduced me to power-exchange relationships in the Old Guard tradition.
How long have you been a MAsT member? What is your role(s) in MAsT?
I first attended MAsT: Portland chapter in January 2007 (the chapter was formerly known as MAsT: Pacific Northwest). I was a regular attendee and and was chapter director from May 2009 to March 2010. In late 2010, I was named webhost and webmaster for MAsT: International and a member of the Executive Committee. When MAsT: International was in the process of separating from Butchmann's, I was involved in drafting the documents with other Executive Committee/future Board Members.
What benefits have you found being a member of MAsT?
I have found one of the most important benefits of MAsT for me personally have been the sense of community and sharing of both common and diverse experiences in the reality of power-exchange relationships.
What is a highlight in your power exchange journey?
That's a tough question, there have been so many along the way. I'd have to say that one of the turning points in my life was on October 21, 2005, when I was able to reunite with my Master after 5 years of trying to deny my overwhelming love and desire for Him. He listened as I exposed my deepest feelings and expressed my desire to be at His boots from that moment and He welcomed me back with an open heart.
What’s a low moment in your power exchange journey and how did you recover or what did you learn from it?
One of the most difficult situations for me was when I did not communicate in a clear manner with my leather family, which caused a misunderstanding and upset. Once I discovered this, I took responsibility for the misunderstanding and did my best to clarify and communicate my intent. My Master used the situation to teach me how to go through the process of accepting responsibility, facing consequences, then moving forward instead of looking backwards at the mistake. That last step in particular helped me to grow as a leatherman, and helped prepare me for my eventual growth as a Master.
What’s an interesting fact about you that most people don’t know?
I'm a bit of a language nerd. I am fluent in German, passable in Spanish, I am currently learning Slovak, and will occasionally watch videos in other languages that I don't know to see what I'm able to comprehend.
Do you have any advice for people new to power-exchange relationships or new chapter directors?
For those who are new to power-exchange relationships, take your time, get to know a variety of people in your community, and consider adopting some of the old-school practices of "courting" and asking trusted people in the community about prospective partner(s). Ultimately make up your own mind, but seriously consider the feedback and advice from trusted members of the community.
New and existing Chapter Directors are doing a tremendous service to the M/s community through their efforts; without them, MAsT would not exist. I would encourage new Chapter Directors to reach out to other chapters, especially those in your region, so that you can ask for as well as provide support for each other. Additionally, I think connecting with local kink and alternative lifestyle groups in your area can provide the same sort of mutual support and growing closer.
What’s your favorite quote and why?
I would have to say Andre Gide's line from Autumn Leaves "It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not."
This quote has great significance for me as a gay, Old Guard leatherman in a poly, power-exchange relationship. It reinforces what I have learned about self-acceptance and the importance of being able to live with the fact that some people won't accept you for who you are.
Anything else you’d like to add?
I am fortunate to be in a Master/Master/slave relationship with two kind, loving, and authentic men. Our love for each other and ongoing commitment to the good of our leather family is what sustains us and strengthens our relationship, especially during the difficult times we all face from time to time.
Life is short and precious; be kind to others and to yourself while you are here. Live authentically and without shame in a way that is in harmony with your heart and soul.
