Weekly Communications

Hello PCMS Students and Families! With last week being the launch of new essential learnings, we recognize and validate that unexpected change is difficult for students and families. This week we wanted to focus on coping with grief and loss and provide you with some tips to help you navigate these challenging times. These coping strategies will build off several of the ideas listed in last week’s newsletter, which focused on building resilience. If you missed it, you can find it here.

Grief is defined as the normal process of reacting to a loss. We typically think of grief in relation to losing a loved one; however, grief can also be social (loss of seeing friends at school), or occupational (loss of a job). Students and families are currently experiencing many losses, including their daily routine, spending time with their friends, school activities, job losses, and end of the school year festivities. It is important to assist students in identifying and processing their grief, as each person deals with losses in their own unique way. These five stages of grief intend to describe different emotions, not specifically prescribe how each person will experience the changes that accompany this public health crisis.

Denial – The belief that the public health crisis will not affect you personally

Anger – Feelings that arise as a result of strict restrictions, such as the Stay Home Stay Healthy order, which may feel like a loss of normal freedoms

Bargaining - The thought that if you follow social distancing guidelines, or just do “x” for a certain amount of time, everything will get better in 2 weeks

Sadness – Feelings that this will never end and will go on forever

Acceptance – Reaching the point where you realize and come to terms with the fact that this is happening, and try to focus your energy on ways you can respond

Scott Berinato recently wrote an article in the Harvard Business Review that describes the feeling of discomfort that many of us are feeling right now as anticipatory grief. The uncertainty associated with this kind of grief makes it particularly difficult to navigate; especially for students dealing with more than one loss at a time. Below are some helpful suggestions of ways to manage and cope with anticipatory grief, as outlined by Scott Berinato in, “That discomfort you are feeling is grief.” Check out the full article here.

• Find balance in the things that you are thinking about: If you find your thoughts traveling to the “worst case scenario,” try to think about the “best case scenario,” and find some middle ground.
• Come into the present: Practicing mindfulness is a helpful strategy to stay in the present moment and regain a sense of control. Check out some mindfulness strategies listed below.
• Let go of what you cannot control: In this time of a public health crisis, there are so many things that are outside of our control, which oftentimes leaves us feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and fearful. What we do have control over is how we respond.
• Stock up on compassion: Be patient and have grace with those around you. Remember that everyone is going to grieve differently during this time.
• Remember that the feelings you are feeling are temporary: This is a public health crisis, and although at times it feels like life will be this way forever, this state of crisis is temporary.

Growing Leaders is a non-profit organization whose mission is to equip families with tools to spark meaningful conversations around mental health issues. Check out their resource below, which is a fun helpful activity to engage your children in a conversation regarding control during a time of uncertainty.

Each week, we will be offering a simple mindfulness practice students and families can use to help alleviate stress and increase coping skills. Mindfulness is a superpower, and can help us to cope with grief, loss, and change. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to your thoughts and feelings in the present moment, without judgement. Practicing mindfulness is a helpful way to regain a sense of control during a time of uncertainty, where a loss of control starts to become the “norm.” This week we are encouraging you to try a Body Scan Meditation. Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can close your eyes and focus on your breathing, while practicing being in the present.

If you are interested in providing your student with more opportunities to practice mindfulness, Dr. Dzung Vo, creator of the website “Mindfulness for Teens,” created a list of short guided meditations for teens. You can access these meditations here.

This week we have two Family Dares for you to challenge yourself with. If possible, take some time away from work and helping your student with school to spend a little quality time together.

Do all the chores for a family member for a week as a way to show your appreciation for them. Lighten someone’s load this week. Doing acts of service like this can help free up someone’s time which, during a busy week, can be a great gift!

Have everyone write down a list of 3-5 things that they would appreciate if someone helped them with, said to them, or shared with them. Put it in a public place and see if, each week, everyone can get something checked off the list.

Counseling office hours, for all grades, are Tues/Thur from 9:30-10 where we will be responding to emails. Mrs. Gee will be answering for 8th grade on Tuesday’s and Mrs. Miranda will be available on Thursday’s. Mrs. Mez and Mrs. Stephens are also available on Edmodo!

PBSES office hours are Tues/Thur from 12:30 - 1:00 where I will be responding to emails.

Now that the school closure has been extended through the end of the school year, this will be a time of prolonged adjustment as students and families transition to on-line learning. Transitions and change can be difficult for students, especially during such an unprecedented time in history. Our Swedish School Based Mental Health Counselor, Laura Greening, is available to support students through individual telehealth (online) counseling support. If you are interested in getting your student connected to services, please do not hesitate to reach out to our school based mental health counselor: laura.greening@swedish.org.

Free virtual counseling sessions available for high school students age 13-18 years old. Meet with one of the Garage Counselors while maintaining Social Distancing ! Appointments available Mondays and Tuesdays. Sign up for a private, confidential session here

If you or someone you know needs support urgently, contact the crisis text line by texting "hello," to 741-741. You will be connected to a 24/7 hour live crisis counselor or you can call the Crisis Connections 24hr Crisis Line at 866-4Crisis. You can also use this link to be connected to a crisis counselor https://www.crisistextline.org/get-help/coronavirus. If you think someone is in immediate danger, call 911.

· Crisis Text Line – text START to 741741 www.crisistextline.org

· King County Crisis Connections 206-461-3222

· Trevor Project 1-866-4UTREVOR (488-7386) (specific toward LGBTQ youth)

· National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

· Teen Link 1-866-833-6546 www.teenlink.org

· Children’s Crisis Outreach Response Services (CCORS) through the Crisis Clinic 206-461-3222

As instances of cyberbullying may increase during this time, here are some ways to help at home. Please know that you or your student may email their school counselor (contact information below) as well if they need support.

https://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/prevention

Laura Meserole, 6th Grade Counselor

Jessica Morrison, 7th Grade Counselor

Miranda Williams, 8th Grade Counselor

Gurminder Randhawa, 8th Grade Counselor

Tiffany Stephens, Counseling Intern

Laura Greening, Swedish Mental Health Counselor

Amy Butson, PBSES Coach

Website: https://www.issaquah.wednet.edu/pacificcascadems
Location: Pacific Cascade Middle School, Southeast Issaquah-Fall City Road, Issaquah, WA, USA
Phone: 425-837-5900